everyone is single if you try hard enough
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
