Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
