No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
