Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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