Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
