We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
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You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
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I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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