and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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