Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He shit in the fireplace
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