hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
