PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
