the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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