return my video game
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
