we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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