Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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