I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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