exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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