I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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