Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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