I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
