Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
