I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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