i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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