New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
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