It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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