UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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