you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
