He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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