If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
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I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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