i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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