What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize