It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
