YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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