I think my vagina is haunted
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
