With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
