I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
