so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
When are your genitals available?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
