He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
