What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
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I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
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didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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