lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
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I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It's never too late to be topless.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
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They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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