I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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