I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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