paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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