your parents love me but you hate me
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
