Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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