My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
