It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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