I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
