It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
