Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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