I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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