Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
