the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
