Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
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If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enjoy the penises
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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