i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Randomize
