Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize