Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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