ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
