How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
