Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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