Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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