my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
is wine microwaveable?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
