What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
