Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
