Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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